What am I doing here?
Posted by Amanda on 01/19/10 in Arrggghh!
Every time vacation rolls around, I find a way to convince myself of all the great things I’m going to get myself to do, all the things I’m going to make time for, and (usually) all the posts I’m going to be writing on this blog.
And then regular life starts again. I get up at 5:30 and by the time I get home at 6, all I want to do is curl up in my brand new, ridiculously comfy, adorably pink Victoria’s Secret robe (can you tell I’m excited about it?) and watch The West Wing online. Blogging kind of gets forgotten.
Last time this happened in August, the no-blogging cycle included distractions from intense amounts of stress, tears, and hair-tearing-out. This time, however, my distractions includes time spent obsessing over text messages, photog-ing with some lovely blogger friends, and finally seeing Avatar in theaters, thus allowing me to once again join in on discussions of American film. Last time, the stresses and complications of life kept me from blogging, or at least, kept me blogging only posts that made my mom call me to ask if I was still alive. This time, I kind of don’t want to blog (and kind of can’t blog) about what’s going on in my life. I can’t really blog about work (laws about child safety and privacy and all) and I can’t blog about my personal life much, as well, it’s personal, lots of people I know in real life read this blog, and (stupidly) I don’t want to jinx things by spewing about them all over the internet.
And that is the sucky thing about this blog. I started it to get things out, get feedback, and free myself from some of my thoughts by sending them out into the abyss of the internet. Now, however, I can’t do that. I rarely talk about the things that are actually on my mind here. I have to wrack my brain to think of things to put on this thing, most of which have little to do with who I am at the moment or what is actually happening in my life.
Sometimes I wish I could start over anonymously, but sadly, I don’t think I have time to deal with the complication. It’s sad, though. It would make a pretty interesting blog.
For now, I’ll say, life is very good. Busy, still stressful and tiring, but actually, really, really good.
tag this
I suppose it’s about sitting back and taking some time out – decide if you want to carry on, or decide if you don’t. Do it for yourself
Lizzie´s last blog ..And the point of me being here is…?
Ugh, it IS frustrating when you aren’t anonymous, isn’t it? I find myself wishing I was anonymous sometimes too. Especially since pretty much everyone I know knows about my blog –even if they don’t always read it. (My mother in law, however, is a frequent reader. Talk about pressure.)
As someone who has taken more than one blogging hiatus, I strongly recommend it if you are feeling overwhelmed. Or you could always do what I did: scrap the old blog and start fresh.
Yes, yes, yes!
Andrea´s last blog ..The One With The Digital Scale*
I’m having a bit of that problem too – some weeks I’m so blog-happy I spill everything I can think of and then I got two weeks feeling like I have nothing I WANT to say or feel like I can say. I don’t know when I started feeling so blocked in on my own blog, and it sucks because since I’m not anonymous I have met so many great people… but now I worry about what people think.
it sucks to have to censor yourself on your blog and defeats the entire purpose. i’ve never had this problem but sometimes I wish i did because all people do is throw everything back up in your face and it sucks :/
alexis b.™´s last blog ..when people get cynical about love, they should look at us – yoko ono
I know, I have a hard time updating my LJ about the topics I used to (and started the LJ for the purpose of addressing, in my mind) because of the real-world effects of people involved reading the entries. It’s a weird, unnecessary albatross hanging over blogging.
Jonah´s last blog ..All Your Thoughts Are Belong to Twitter