My Rollercoaster

March 9th, 2010 at 1:14 am.

This week has been one gigantic fucking roller coaster.

I’ve had some of my toughest weeks teaching yet, mainly because four of my students were asked to leave the school, upsetting not only me, but also most of my students right as we started a new project I really need them to be excited about. I’ve been feeling bad for these students and wallowing for myself, feeling kind of responsible for not catching some of these problems earlier, neither of which I should really be feeling. Also, the amount of work I have caused me to come pretty close to having an actual panic attack this morning, as opposed to the ones I hyperbolically claim to be having most Sundays.

On the other hand, I started dating someone. This does not seem like that big of a deal to most people, but to me, who has been technically single since I was 16 and who has been screwed over more than once by boys in the intervening years, this is a (lovely and) big deal. Things are going eerily well, and the whole situation is literally the only reason I’ve made it through the past two weeks of ridiculousness. With all the other crap going on, I’m just trying to enjoy the this stage while its still fun and new and…filled with me smiling.

On yet another hand, my summer plans are once again up in the air. I was all set to head back to Camp this summer, but now scheduling issues have come up with my school, and it’s seeming less and less sane to fly off to Ohio for every single day of my summer vacation. I’m feeling more and more like I need a real and true break this summer. Plus, I possibly have a part-time job I could take with Teach for America in the summer that would alleviate the money issues that led me to seriously consider camp in the first place, but the whole situation still sucks.

And that is my roller coaster. Crying at school. Smiling with the new boy, and desperately scrambling to figure out what I’m going to do with my July.

6 notes ( Reply )

  1. Lizzie
    Mar 09, 2010 @ 2:24 pm

    New boys are always good to take your mind of things as long as you take it slow and go along for the ride :) Sorry to hear about problems at work – hopefully things will pick up soon xoxo
    .-= Lizzie´s last blog ..Well needed and possibly earned =-.

  2. Her
    Mar 09, 2010 @ 10:23 pm

    That’s a hell of a roller coaster! I’m SO glad things are going well with the guy…and so sorry that this was a tough week at school.

  3. Hollywood Sucker
    Mar 12, 2010 @ 3:54 pm

    Did you tell the new guy about your blog? Don’t! Hahaha. That always makes things so tricky.
    .-= Hollywood Sucker´s last blog ..Doing It Surprisingly Well: Wall Decals =-.

  4. BB
    Mar 13, 2010 @ 4:24 pm

    Hi. I’m new here.

    However new I may be, my advice is to get drunk and do the hula. Joking, naturally. Well. Maybe.

    At the end of the day you gotta breathe lady!
    .-= BB´s last blog ..Letting Go of the Past: Day… something. =-.

  5. Jonah
    Mar 21, 2010 @ 2:22 pm

    Yay! (For boyfriend, not for tough teaching times.) As a friend with a similar drought in relationship luck, I say Congratulations! Happy for you, Amanda. Hope it goes well :)

  6. Kirsten
    Apr 03, 2010 @ 2:57 pm

    Congrats on the new boy! They are always fun. Hope all is still going well in that department.

    About the teaching… I’m not a teacher and have never taught anyone anything in my life other then how to maybe say something simple in english lol. But I imagine it must be a really hard job to do. And I imagine the workload must be crazy. Just try and get super organised and everything will eventually fall into place.

    Good luck!
    .-= Kirsten´s last blog ..Lilacs and Lavender =-.

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