This week has been hectic, to say the least. It’s also been a kind of “Hey, Amanda! Let’s quickly consider all of your options for the next year with handy specified days for each possible path.”

Let’s start with Wednesday: Wednesday I got up at 6:00AM, which is normally an hour which doesn’t exist in my life, to get myself prepared for my day long (Let me say that again…day long) interview for Teach for America. Now to give you some idea of the intensity of this process: for this interview, I had to collect official transcripts from my school, submit two recommendations, read five articles on education in low-income communities, and prepare a five minute sample teaching lesson. 

I was pretty calm about the interview, as I’d be happy and flattered to be accepted but if I’m not, I have other options (as evidenced below). This isn’t my only hope or anything. That said, the interview itself made me kind of nervous. You get there and there are eleven other impeccably dressed young people who all have resumes that include going to places like Yale or working on cancer research or doing extensive community service. Then you have to watch them all teach these inventive, thought out lessons, while you (read: me) thought that your lesson for high schoolers didn’t need worksheets or visual aids, which everyone else so happens to have. Then, you do this group exercise where you have to use your knowledge of the readings to think of a strategy for improving test scores at a fake middle school where you fake teach. THEN you have to write a reflection on the readings. THEN you have to take a multiple choice/essay “test” (they call it an “exercise”) with charts and data and reasoning….it’s tiring. After all that, you come back in the afternoon to have your hour long, one-on-one interview, which walks you through role play exercises and a bunch of those fun “what would you do in this situation” questions. Good times. Really.

Overall, I thought the day went well. They prefaced our morning with the note that we really weren’t competing with each other, as they judge everyone individually against their standards and choose from there. Because of that, the whole group was super supportive, especially through the sample teaching, which was nerve-racking for everyone. It was impressive how well we all worked together for having just met and kind of (but not really…) being in competition with each other. It made me feel like should I be accepted into the program,  I’d be surrounded by extremely smart but supportive people. 

Today, I went in to the Graduate Open House at Emerson, even though I visited this summer, as I thought it would be smart to get a real program overview from the faculty rather than just the students. We had a seminar about admission and financial aid, which given the whole our-economy-is-falling-apart thing was a little scary. The actual overview of the program turned into more of a discussion between the seven people who were there to look at the program, two current students, and the head of the program. I think what struck me the most was how the things many of the people there are feeling about their jobs and careers 2 to 10 years out of college are the exact same things I have begun to fear I’ll feel 2 to 10 years out of college, only I know about  them now. The whole disillusioned-with-the-industry, can’t-work-a-desk-job, wanting-to-give-back mentality is something everyone shared, and weirdly, something I already have. How am I disillsuioned with a world I have yet ot enter? I guess I’ve already seen it through my internships and jobs during college, but it’s hard to get people who’ve actually experienced it to believe that I have, too. Anyway, the whole thing made me feel like I’d found the right program for me, making me want to go there even more, which is both good and bad. I have a clear goal, which is good for me, but I fear a major meltdown should I not achieve that goal. 

I mean, I feel qualified to get a job in Film and TV (my current major), but my sister is having a really tough time finding a job in the field, and she actually wants it! I can’t imagine working that hard for jobs I don’t even think I’d enjoy….BUT, I’m not there yet. Not even close. First, I have to see what Teach for America says. Then, if that doesnt’ work, I have to get my application to Emerson in. If that doesn’t work, I’ll figure out something…I hope.

The other big news (I suppose) is that I’m attempting (emphasis on attempting) to participate in NaBloPoMo, which means I have to post every…single…day in November. Quite a change from my three posts in October. I’m trying to use this as a way to get blogging back in my routine, as it has clearly been pushed to the bottom of my priority list in favor of things like work, school, and sleeping. We’ll see how this works out. 

In my ongoing quest to take on every possible application process and look into every possible career choice for my future (that starts ever so soon), I’ve started looking into applying to Teach for America. If you don’t know, TFA is a non-profit organization that recruits and trains recent college grads to commit to teaching for two years in urban and rural schools in low socio-economic areas in an attempt to close the achievement gap in America. I’ve heard about it a lot, obivously as I took Politics of Education this summer, and it’s always sounded intriguing, but it’s been sounding even more intriguing after my (disenchanting) stint in the LA entertainment biz. 

My other plans also include applying to grad school for theater education, so this would obviously be an interesting step in the right direction. I mean, how hard could getting high schoolers to love drama be after teaching inner city kids to love 9th grade English? That’s what I thought.

The upsides of doing this include having a guaranteed, decently paying job for two years. I would have an instant network of friends and collegues wherever they sent me. I’d have an amazing, life-changing experience (if everything touted on the TFA website and in the informational meeting I just attended is true), and would gain valuble experience that would be more than a little useful to WHATEVER I choose to do afterwards. They have an amazing alumni network and various partnerships with businesses and grad schools to take advantage of, as well. 

The various downsides include, IT’S SO HARD (this sounds stupid, but really…it’s a freakin’ hard job.) I can only imagine how draining and difficult this job can be. I mean, I got stressed teaching drama at camp to middle-class Jewish kids. This would be a thousand times harder. Plus, there is the whole moving wherever they tell you to move thing (although, they tell you before you have to make a decision AND you get to rank where you’d want to be placed and they have a 98% rate of sending people to an area they requested.) I know I would be a good teacher under normal teacher circumstances, but I honestly fear I would buckle under this stress. I mean, this semester already gave me a cold. But I know, I KNOW, that at the end of this experience, I would feel amazing. I truly want a job where I am doing something and accomplishing something (see my rant about why I disliked one of my internships in LA). To be able to make even the tiniest impact on these kids lives would be unbelievably fulfilling. 

Lastly, isn’t this the time to do something big? Something crazy? Something you can’t do during any other time in your life? As much as I want to go to grad school for Theater Ed, I don’t know if I can jump right back into school, and there is no job that seems appealing to me right now. I’ve looked. I can’t stick myself in an office again, I just can’t. This would be an amazing experience. A hard experience, but an experience none the less. 

My basic plan for all of these things is to apply for many things and see what sticks. TFA has a deadline in January, which is also when the deadlines for grad school are, so January will be the “I’m unemplyed and applying to EVERYTHING” month. Fun times are clearly in my future. 

So have any of you ever thought of applying to TFA? Know anyone who has?

It’s extremely hard to come up with blog ideas when all I do is work and sit around eating and watching the Olympics. Especially since I actively avoid talking about work, because, you know, the horror stories abound. I will make a small exception now, as something vaguely important could possibly be happening soon, and as I have nothing else to blog about, it seems like a good idea. 

Basically, I’ve been a work-study student at the same place for two years. From what I can tell, I do a pretty good job. In fact, my boss’s last day was today, and when I said good-bye to her (prepare from some self-congratulatory posting…) she said they were so lucky to have found me to work there and offered any help she could give me in the future, as she is moving to New York, somewhere I could possibly end up. Basically, I’ve been working as her assistant when I’m there, so we’ve gotten pretty close. And I’ve loved working there, hence my unhappiness at the possibility of my work-study being taken away (an issue which is not entirely resolved yet, but which my boss has told me not to worry about. She says they definitely want me around for the fall and will figure out a way to keep me there.)

Moving on, my boss’s biggest suggestion leaving the job was to create a full time assistant position for her position, as she shared an assistant with the rest of management, while using me when she could. The company took her advice and created a full-time assistant position. The job description is basically a slightly more in-depth description of MY job,  just full time. My boss encouraged me to apply. She even read my cover letter for me. So I applied. And I got an interview. For a full-time job…that would start next month. Um…ridiculous much? 

This is so good and so bad in a number of ways. First for the so good: if I got it, I would have a full time job! Paying a lot more money than I’m making now! And I could stay in Boston! At a job I already know how to do and actually enjoy! Hooray!

The so bad? I would have a full time job. And class (sure, I am only taking three classes, and they include acting and photography, but still, they are classes…with grades…) And Bay State, the campus TV show I work on. And my sorority, which to be honest, I would probably completely blow off if I got this job. What I’m saying is, I would be exhausted. All. The. Time. It would be a lot to handle, and I really don’t want to have a complete breakdown my last semester of college. 

The double bad countering the so bad, however, would be if they hired someone else, because, honestly? They say I would still work there, but there would be almost nothing for me to do. I’ve been filling this assistant type position all summer, and there are days when I’ve had one project and then done homework for three hours. To add a full time assistant to the mix would make the lowly work-study student obsolete. I guess it wouldn’t be so bad to have a job where I had little to do and still got paid, but with the added responsibility I’ve gained this summer, it would suck to give it up to someone completely new, while I’ve been there for two years. 

I’m trying not to think about any of this too much, as I have no control over what will ultimately happen, and really, if I got offered the job, I wouldn’t even think about not taking it, so why dwell on the negative now like I’m weighing the options? It’s pointless. I’ll take the job if I get it, and I’ll deal with it if I don’t. I really just wanted something to blog about…

This weekend, on paper, has been extremely fun and eventful. Patrick and Jillian came into town for one last LA-like hurrah before I am alone for the summer. We had our eagerly awaited South End Bar Crawl, beginning with Patrick and my favorite restaurant, Picco. Picco, of course, stands for Pizza and Ice Cream, Co. The name alone makes you want to eat there forever. Deliciousness. Anyway, we then crawled to Sister Sorrel and Union in the South End before coming back to South Campus and ending our night at the train wreck of a bar that is An Tua Nua. If you are ever in Boston and feel like taking your class level down about 10 points, I suggest a trip there. I was disturbed. A plus of the night was becoming friends with Patrick and Jillian’s two friends, Amanda and Val, who I can hopefully hang out with the rest of the summer. I need friends in Boston like woah.

Saturday, Jillian, Val and I did a small walking tour of Boston, ending, of course, on Newbury for lunch. Jillian and I later had a nice dinner party with our friend Megan and her boyfriend. She was in Ireland this past semester while we were in LA, so we had many stories to exchange while eating delicious vegetable lasagna and brownies. Mmm…

Despite all the fun I’ve had this weekend, I have WAY too much going on in the back of my mind. I found out I’m definitely not going to be getting enough hours out of my current work-study job, which is sad because I really enjoy it. This means I either have to deal with having a good amount (Read: probably way too much) free time, which I would use to basically sit in my bed watching Food Network, and not enough money. Thus, I have been feeling I need to get a second job. All the on-campus jobs are office jobs, which I am good at but which I don’t enjoy so  much. They would, however, give me weekends off. I’ve also been looking into restaurant jobs, where I may make some fun summer friends and get to stand for a while in a slightly more exciting environment, but where I may have to give up my weekends – weekends I had planned to use for multiple trips to NYC to visit my sister and Jillian OR I could just deal with not making a lot of money and just force myself to work out and read a lot so I feel productive. But, let’s be honest, as long as Everyday Italian remains, I really know that won’t happen. It’s a tough call, especially since I don’t quite know how bogged down I am going to get with reading for my PolySci class. Maybe I won’t have any free time. Bah! I hate decisions.

On top of all that loveliness, I’ve been dealing with my schedule being royally screwed up for the fall, freaking out about my financial aid, and deciding if I should be studying for the GRE’s if I am really serious about applying to grad school. Aaaannnndddd I’m hyperventilating. Remember when summer was all fun and sunshine. Camp and playing outside with nothing to worry about? When did that stop? Oh yeah…this year. Man, I miss camp.